Intersubjectivity Inside/Outside

I shifted my leader role into the one of a follower. What a relief! All of a sudden, after three intensive weeks giving instructions, setting objectives, explaining tasks, highlighting outcomes, guiding, directing, comforting, talking, listening, clarifying, assuring and over attempting to all control, I let go everything. When the sun reached the zenith and our students got a recess; it casted a spell and I became a child again. I no longer kept being the director of the program and I simply engaged in the kids’ group as one more among them. I remained in this stage for the entire afternoon. Del Tingo Al Tango Summer Camp is intense and rewarding; by week three, everyone had already learned I would be the steward. I am amazed; the minute I turned into one more among the young ones they no longer demanded anything from me.

I remember the film “Freaky Friday”, when a mother–daughter role is inverted by a magic spell as well, in my case I would love to remain a kid. I think I do not even have to pretend; as long as I free the child within me totally I am relaxed. If I could only tell my adult version that there is no need for all of her effort, that no instructions is the best, but I am absorbed in a hairstyle endeavor: I have mine done in two braids while I do a San Miguelito vivid pink tiara for Maria’s in front of me. Everything revolves in harmony… maybe it was all an illusion, my presence was not as important because with me now as another child everyone can concentrate in their own intentions which are balanced with regard to each other’s.

An hour or so have passed and we are still engaged in playing with each other’s hair; while doing so someone began to hum a tune and we all engaged. There are other instructors. They do not have a clue of my intentions but they have never had it before so they follow my abandonment as if this was the plan for the day. Occasionally they glance at me in search for frugality; purposefully I respond to their seeking with eternity. They may want us all to come back to verticality, both physically and as a metaphor, we all remain seating, horizontally, only them, the other instructors, loyal to me, remember there was an agenda, breaks, conclusions to perform. For the rest of the group, this apparent chaos is a sparkle of the cosmos. From my perspective harmony prevails and the concentric orbits of logistics and expectations find their own inclination and confidence.
I may have to return to the world of grownups tonight, I want everyone surrounding me to remain in the astonishment of my Tao trance of do not do only this time, when I return to my molded being. I will make a pledge to never again forget what I promised myself as a child.